Men often use women as emotional support because it’s harder for men to reach out to a male friend so women often have to bear their emotional baggage. The key is to recognize this & reaffirm that it is by no means a woman’s responsibility, but if one would like to facilitate the convo, these are some great starters.
Toxic masculinity has long perpetuated the idea that men showing their emotions is a display of weakness. This can often put a strain on partners as communicating emotions is fundamental for not only relationships but all aspects of life. It can be hard for men to open up about their feelings so a little nudge is always helpful.
Of course, it is by no means their partner’s responsibility to have to foster that connection and conversation, but sometimes a little nudge helps.
If one would like to initiate that conversation, here are some great starters:
- “If you were in my situation, how would you like someone to understand what you’re experiencing? Would it make you feel secure to know that my ears are always here to listen to any thought of yours?”
- “Hey, (Name) — I just want to tell you that not too long ago I, too, was feeling out of it. It’s challenging to trust people out there to speak to. We’re together to get through the tough times too. I’d love to hear your heart out.
- Remember when we spoke about (a specific thing you both did in the past), it made all the difference and so I’m sure it can be the same for you too. Whenever you feel it’s time to speak too, I’ll be all yours.”
- “I’m feeling you’re (under a lot of tension). You do know that I have a lot of respect for men as strong as you who are able to share their feelings. It makes me feel safe when I know my man has a deep heart like yours. Feeling deep is always your greatest strength. I love it when you share your innermost feelings with me.”
- “I don’t like how sometimes women put heavy emotional burdens on their lovers. Love is openness and openness is communication. Whenever you talk about your feelings, I fall in love with you even deeper, as I respect how much strength it takes to allow me in. I cherish your strength and bravery when you do so.”
- “It’s completely fine to feel at unease when sharing your fears with me. Some men go decades keeping them inside. I just want you to know that no matter what you’re going through, you’ll always have my utmost respect. I honour your strength. Would you like us to discuss how we can overcome this together, over dinner?”
- “Wanna drive around for a bit and talk about this week? I can make us your favourite (beverage) while you quickly put on a fresh pair of jeans! There’s a thing or two that I wanna take your opinion on! When we drive and talk; it makes me feel safe. I hope this is a safe space for you too as I value your opinion and honesty.
- “Hey hun, I’ve been recently thinking about what real “strength” means after feeling a bit off these past few days. I know it may sound ridiculous of me asking, but how does real strength feel like to you, both mentally and physically?”
- “Do you know that I find that the more emotional you are when we talk openly, the more love I feel flowing between us…”
- “What’s the most intense emotion you’ve ever felt during our time together?”
- “Is there anything I do that triggers your emotions or prevents you from sharing your thoughts with me?”
- “What’s one thing you love about me being in your life? How do I make you feel about being in your life?”
- “If fear of judgement did not exist in today’s world, what do you feel you would change in the way you live your life?”
- “Recently, I read on a post online that men are 4x more likely to commit suicide… What do you feel as a man can be very tough emotionally sometimes? Do you feel safe talking to me about your emotions?”
- “What are the best ways for me to create a safe and open emotional space should you ever feel like you want to let anything out of your chest? I’d love to know how I can make our space as open and as comfortable as possible for you to thrive and be at your best.”
- Home feels warm when you express your feelings. How’s your day been?
Let us know if these help you out via dropping us an email at [email protected]
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