How a Toxic Relationship Changed Me.

Toxic relationships can sometimes be hard to define. They are not only limited to romantic ones. You must have had a relationship with a co-worker, a friend or even a family member that was abusive and toxic – whether emotionally or physically.

I came across a few who have been in toxic relationships. Listening to their stories that were intense and heartbreaking, I never knew why someone would hold on to something extremely toxic and damaging. Until I got into a toxic relationship last year. At first, it was kind of “fake it till you make it” sort of thing. It was all passion and love and suddenly: there wasn’t anything at all.

That person made me question everything around me, including myself, and made me question if I was worthy of anyone’s love, including my family’s. It made me really question if I was worthy enough to be loved.

It was nothing but constant heartache and pain. Not once did they fail to make me doubt myself and feel like a burden all the time. It was always me and it was always my fault. No matter what they did, said or even how bad they’s make me feel, part of me kept holding on to the hope that they really might change one day. Part of me chose to stay and never give up, despite the fact of ignoring everyone’s else’s’ advice and never listening to those who truly cared about me.

Till one day, I decided that enough is enough and I chose to leave this abusive relationship once and for all. For the first time in a while, I felt strong and free from being constantly mentally abused. He tried to get me back but there was never a chance I could go back to hell again. It took me time to heal and get better and become a best version of me today than I was a year ago.

It is super easy to judge and give advice to those we see suffering in an abusive relationship, but it is harder to know or understand why the hell they keep holding on when they know it not right for them. The reason I decided to share my story, is because I want you to know that you are not alone in this.

Relationships are Never Simple

Love and relationships aren’t always as simple as we’d like them to be, and people change. They sometimes even become unstable at times. If you or someone you know are going through this, know that you deserve better. You deserve to be loved and healthy in your relationship, mentally, physically and emotionally. You deserve someone who does not make you question everything or doubt you all the time. You deserve someone who protects and respects you. You are too precious to be treated less of what you truly deserve. And remember: The choice is always yours. Walk out anytime. With no explanations.

In conclusion, give yourself time to heal, be patient and learn to love yourself. There’s no harm in being a bit selfish when it comes to your mental and physical health. Transfer your pain and heartache into something marvellous… into self-improvement and challenge yourself more often.

This was a lesson and a reminder to you of what you deserve and what to never accept again, and of what made you become the person you are today.

To those who are still out there, I pray for you to wake up soon and start healing & growing.

Don’t you ever forget that you are way stronger than you think.

It’s never too late.

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